Finding Your Voice
Whether you feel great or you feel crappy that day, you did it!
You got off your butt, freed yourself from Netflix and finally got the courage to go and see someone about how you are really feeling.
You are ready to share how you it’s been living in your body for the last 6 months (10 months, 10 years) and it’s time for answers – you are done with good enough and getting by and you are ready for great.
Your name is finally called, you march down the hall mantra-ing to yourself ‘I will ask for what I want’ the entire way. You perch down on the plastic chair wondering if the person before you had the same concerns and you wait.
You wait, until the healthcare professional (doctor, naturopath, dentist, chiropractor, life coach, psychologist, etc…), comes into the room and in the interim you practice what you want to say.
Your appointment starts, the voice questions, “How are you?”
Instead of sharing the prepared speech you have practiced about how you are really doing, you respond with the most expected answer to the most asked question each and every day with “Good, and how are you?”
And just like that, you feel deflated and defeated, and what you had hoped to share seems like it has long ago been wiped away in the tide that washes over the room.
Your appointment becomes this lobbying of expected responses back and forth, a renewed prescription and you are ushered out. The cycle starts of working your way back to this very space where you can once again feel you can try again to ask the questions that brought you in, in the first place.
When It Feels Like You Can’t Find Your Voice?
It’s hard sometimes to ask for what you want, what you really want and need. We are people pleasers and have become automated at putting everyone else before us.
We complain to our families and closest friends, but when it is time to share what really matters with someone who may be able help you make a shift, the words sometimes feel forced to come out.
3 Tips to Help You Ask for What You Need
Tip 1: Finding Your Voice: Write it Down (and Bring It with You)
Memory jogs are so incredibly important in a world where we have information thrown at us in all directions. Write down all the things you are feeling and want to talk about them. Bring them with you. Hand them to the practitioner when you are lost for words, or feel derailed.
Tip 2: Finding Your Voice: Don’t Give Up Your Power
This appointment/conversation is about you and your needs. Start the conversation with what you need.
Answer how are you with…
“I’m really glad you asked that, there are a few things that I have written down that I was hoping to talk with you about today.”
Tip 3: Finding Your Voice: If You Don’t Get What You Need, Book Back in on the Spot
Sometimes we get derailed, or our practitioner doesn’t have time for us, or a fire alarm rings in the middle of our appointment (true story). But instead of leaving feeling deflated, before you cross the doorway stop yourself, turn around, make a follow-up appointment, ask the reception to type in the notes what you want to talk about, what you didn’t get to today, schedule yourself in, and revisit.
The most important thing is to take it all in stride. It’s easy to get down on yourself for not covering off everything you want/need in the session, but as practitioners we are equally responsible to help you feel safe and ask you enough questions to help guide it out of you.
It’s a two-way street, but sometimes the traffic doesn’t flow smoothly and that’s ok.